Twittering

My oven says that it needs to be turned to full and left empty for an hour to clean itself.
My fridge says that my food is going off at the back.
My freezer says its auto-defrost mechanism needs defrosting.
My washing machine is craving softer water.
My dishwasher is warning me that my cutlery will fade.
My toaster wants its crumbs emptying.
My kettle needs a descale and is crying on every boil.
My hob suggests a new cleaning cream on every use.
My phone moans about a weak signal.
My laptop wants a new battery.
Clamouring.
But not for long. I revel in their trivial chatter whilst I can.
Soon they will shut down the grid and everything will be silenced. No more power. No more electricity. No more aliens terrorising our country from inside our electric feeds.
No more appliances twittering in my life.