War Of The Worlds : What To Do When The Martians Invade

Last weekend I saw the Spielberg remake of War Of The Worlds for the first time. Yes, I know I'm three years late, but I didn't get to see it a the cinema for all the usual reasons and didn't get to watch it on DVD for all the usual reasons, so in the end I saw it because it was on TV and I had two hours to watch it.

I thought the film was a pretty decent attempt, capturing a lot of the book's essence. (I really enjoyed the book, pleasantly surprised in fact.) It has the surprise attack, following the every-man protaganist in his attempt to reunite with his wife, the mass migration from the city and of course the legendary tripods and their red weed. It's very Spielberg and very Cruise, but has some really scary moments, particularily the scene where the mob take their car.

It got me thinking though, in both the film and the book the hero tries to find his wife, at the expense of safety and common sense. Well, I say common sense, perhaps you can excuse H.G. Wells' character due to the lack of inctructional material, but Tom Cruise surely had all the knowledge he needed to make things a bit easier.

Here's what a survivor of a Martian attack should do:

1. Turn off the emotions and start thinking about survival. Getting yourself killed means you'll never see your wife again. Yes it will be difficult, but you have to weigh up the risks and stay alive.
   
2. Head away from the crowds. The Martians are trying to exterminate humanity, so presumable they'll start by following the 80/20 rule, wiping out the cities and the herds of fleeing humans. Only when that's done will they search the remote basements of houses. So head into the country, preferably with a tent, and camp in the woods. Maybe keep a Ray Mears book to hand.
3. If you find a car that's still working pay special attention to rule #2.
4. Don't trust anyone, even if they offer to help. They may turn out to be a crazy preacher or Tim Robbins. Best to keep yourself to yourself, rule #2 will help with this.
5. Patience. Wait it out. The Martians will probably die of a cold anyway.